{{NSFW}}
This is the sad tale of the fap that could not be. Francis loved to fap, he loved to fap every day but for what debauched, vile content he would enjoy he could tell no one. There was one day he decided to go for the three-hour fap gold medal, proudly awarded by the Fap Institute of Fapping. On this day, he was excited to get going and have a masturbation adventure. His mummy and daddy would be out all day after his breakfast, his Mum told him, "Make sure you behave yourself, don't watch too much TV and get lots of exercise" so he said, "Of course Mum, please enjoy your day, I think my day will be great too" for TV was not even on his mind and he would surely be gaining quite some muscle mass after this hefty session.
He sat in front of the TV as they said goodbye, pretending to watch whatever was on the TV. He turned off Boohbah, inadvertently giving some birthday present ideas and went into the computer room. He had a locked safe with some objects important for such a session - several large water bottles, energy drinks, the finest lube secretly bought with Christmas money and his well-travelled jizz flannel. He sat comfortably in the office chair; he was ready. That prestigious medal would be his. The door was closed, the clock ticked but otherwise the room was silent. But after five minutes of wanking over some MILF content there was a knock at the door. He almost fell out the chair as he scrambled around, "Don't come in, I'm really trying to concentrate on my work! Who is it please?" but there was no answer. So he just got back to fapping.
He had many back-to-back bondage and hefty Hentai sessions but he got bored of those and went on to anal POV cams. These were not his favourite type of video but he would need to have some down time to keep from prematurely needing to wash his flannel and therefore ruin his chance at the medal. Someone was knocking at the door. Crap! He danced about again, trying to hide as much as possible and turned off the monitor showing the pre-bum foreplay, apparently involving a lovely cream tea held on the woman's breasts and the guy had been dipping his biscuit into the tea using his schlong. But no one said anything. So he stopped, "Hello?" he called out. But there was no reply, so he decided to carry on, though he paused to wonder what the noise could be since he was an only child and they had no pets.
More time had passed, more fappage and the door was knocked on several times but by now he was ignoring it as he watched one woman violate another with a lubricated, plastic lightsabre. He was at least half way through wanking and water, he could do this, he thought. He chugged some energy drink and ate a power bar. This was his destiny, his gift to the world. Nothing could beat such an achievement.
The debauchery descended further now and the porn got more niche, there was even a video he watched of two people just sitting there and having a delightful conversation about bingo but he fapped to it nonetheless. Knock, there was a knock at the door. He was getting annoyed now, he wanted to find out what the noise could possibly be but he couldn't stop wanking otherwise the guys at the Fap Institute of Fapping would be laughing at him for weeks on end over such a failure. He clicked on "Toys R Us turns to Sex R Us" and caressed his erection as the till man asked if the old man wanted a bag. He had seen this before, he knew this would be the most gay and vile orgy ever but it would be a nice, challenging fap. "Knock knock". This was a voice now, coming from the door. He froze in front of the screen that had the young man tied up with skipping rope and a cricket ball in his mouth where he was being violated by the old man dick and his new Baby Wetsy. He had to find out what this was now, maybe it would count if he checked while wanking. He got up to the door whilst still rubbing his junk. "Who is it?" he said, "I know that can't be my Mum or Dad because they're out all day at the Fuck Fair, so just tell me who you are and I can get back to this fine audio-visual artwork" but the voice said, "I will not tell. You must open the door and see". Francis opened the door and his lungs emptied of all air at the horror in front of him. It was an apparition, but that was not the horror - it was wearing a chastity belt of all things and was holding one just his size, "No!" Said Francis, "Noo! I won't go in that!" "But you must" replied the ghost, "I am the Wank Ghost of Modern Times and you have been a very bad boy, that dick must be secured forever" "At least let me finish my fap!" cried Francis but to no avail.
His parents returned to a clean, clear house. Francis sat clothed in front of the Television. His mum berated him for watching Boohbah all day, but Francis only said in a small voice "I'm sorry mummy, I won't be bad again ever", for his schlong stayed securely in the chastity belt where it would remain forever. Some say the Wank Ghost is still out there, patrolling for others who would decide to get off to such debauched content. And those who do would never fap again. Knock... Knock...